Asking for the water

      My wife and I were talking about my post, “Never get between a woman and her Crazy”. I thought it was one of my better posts. She did not. She summed up her critique by telling the story of an actor and a writer making a sit-com. During the run through the actor killed the audience when he asked for some water. However, during shooting the audience did not respond to the same line.

         “What happened?” asked the actor.

         “During rehearsal”, the writer began, “you asked for the water, but during shooting you asked for the laugh.”

         When my wife read the post, she thought I was asking for the laugh. She has a point. For the last couple of days I have been trying to write humorous and entertaining posts, and failing miserably. Sometimes I try too hard. I was never one of those people who could keep up with the funny going around the dinner table. It almost always ended badly, by which I mean the creation of a cringe moment that tends to haunt me if my mind should accidentally drift towards my childhood.

         So why do I continue to go for the funny? Maybe it’s the approval junkie in me. That last post had some truth to it. Part of my own personal “Crazy” is a need for some external validation. Sometimes I can transcend that impulse and accept myself as is (with the notable exception of my recent weight gain). But……on a bad day, I go right for seeking approval. It’s part of my DNA, I’m just built that way.

         There is hope for someone like me. I am increasingly aware of when the approval seeking rears it’s ugly head. When I am lucky enough to be conscious of it, I can remind myself that I don’t have to impress anyone. I can let it go, on a good day. On a bad day……not so much.

         My point is that being mindful of your motivations is very hard work. Asking for water only when you are thirsty is hard work. I think what my wife was saying, is that my best posts have to do with sharing something of myself rather than seeking the approval of laughter. Which is not to say that I will banish the funny. I just need to let it happen more effortlessly. The human condition is funny enough on it’s own, it doesn’t need my help.